In Front of Me
by LilyGinnyBlack
Summary: SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 62!     Sharon contemplates Break; her feelings for him and her thoughts on his inevitable death, all while she holds him sleeping in her arms. Drabble/Sharon Character Piece Break/Sharon


_**Only in Front of Me**_

_**By:**_ _LilyGinnyBlack_

**Disclaimer: All characters, settings, and etc. belong to ©Mochizuki Jun, Square Enix, Yen Press, and Xebec.**

**SPOILERS: FOR CHAPTER 62! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED, PLEASE DON'T READ!**

_A/N: This is my take on what occurs after the Break/Sharon scene in Chapter 62. I hope you all like it!_

-()-

I can feel him in my arms. His limbs and his girth, they both seem to be skinner than I remember them being. His eyes are closed and his arms keep tightening just so around me, as if he is checking to make sure that I am still here, since he can no longer see me. At this action, my hand automatically goes to his head, and I thread my fingers through his silky hair. A very shallow part of me, for a brief moment, superficially thinks that I am glad that, despite his obviously dying state, his hair is still as lush and beautiful as I recall it being. A flash, just for a few seconds, of me being a small child and reaching out for Break's hair when it was oh so very long and his slightly annoyed face as he shooed me away, resurfaces and I realize that thinking about his hair is not a very good idea.

Looking at his face I can see his eye moving frantically and erratically underneath that thin eyelid of his. He is dreaming. And looking at his chest my eyes detect the slow, rythmic rising and falling. He is sleeping peacefully. My mind is able to be at ease in this moment, but only for this moment. His head, which before had been leaning against my shoulder, is now secure against my chest and I reach out a hand to his cheek, wanting to caress it. I can feel the warmth of blood flowing under his pale skin.

Every second that passes though, every minute, every hour, and every day he comes closer to death. I have always known this. But now, as he shifts in my arms unconsciously and as he makes a feeble sound here or there in his sleep, I understand just how little time he has left. It is something that I have been acutely aware of, ever since he told me that he was blind, but now as the relief floods through me that he is still alive in my arms, I…

It is for this reason that I cannot allow myself to call him Break in intimate moments like this. I have to call him 'Xerx-nii' or 'Nii-san,' or else I will cause myself to be in pain later. It is already going to hurt enough, losing a 'brother.' If I let my crush grow, if I call him Break when he leans his head against my shoulders and calls me by my name…I will end up going to some place that I can never return from and may never be able to return _to_. Nothing good will come from it; the wounds will only be even deeper.

The thought alone that he may now see me as _Sharon_ and not _Young Mistress_ is good enough. I can settle for that even though my heart is still pounding and desires more. It wants me to be closer to him, but this weight of his body against me, as I sit awkwardly upon the floor, is becoming too much for my small frame to bear. So, I gently get up and rearrange Break in my arms. Trying not to drag him too much, I bring him back over to the bed.

By the bedside, I heave and lift him up, and with a bit of a struggle he finally ends up on the bed. His face is still blissful in its sleeping state. I grab the covers that fell earlier to the floor, after Break had practically barricaded and hide himself in them, and I place them over Break's body. That want to be close to him -that want to continue to cuddle up next to him and be by his side- it is growing inside me. And without really thinking about it, I reach downward and I take my heels off, one at a time. Placing them next to the bed, I walk around the bed to the other side and slip in underneath the covers.

It is hot, with the layers of fabric from my dress as well as the blanket covering me, but not unbearably so. Nestling close beside him under the covers, my head is now leaning against his shoulder and I even feel brave enough to gingerly wrap one of my arms around him.

I close my eyes, and my mind wanders.

Mistress Sinclair had Kevin Regnard, and my mother had Kevin who wasn't quite Break yet…But Break, this Break right here, who is old and weak and fragile -this Break- who probably can't even see me outside of a pink blob and who is clinging desperately to the arrogant and skillful man he had been in the past…This Break is mine and mine alone. This Break that only I have been allowed to see…

And it is with thoughts such as these, and with the feel of Break in my arms and the smell of him in my nostrils, that I feel my mind begin to drift. Sleep will be coming to me soon. Perhaps fate will allow me to dream of the future they are denying me?

-()-

_A/N: Tell me what you think of it in a review and take care!_

-LilyGinnyBlack-


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